is it getting better or getting worst?

assalamualaikum....

manusia memang tak leh lari dari buat kesilapan. tp if kesilapan tu diulang ulang, itu bkn kebiasaan lg. itu luar biasa namanyer. kenapa tak amik iktibar dr aper yang pernah jadi. kenapa mesti nak jugak masukkan peribahasa "pisang berbuah 2 kali" dlm kamus hidup kau.

ask me to leave.
ask me to forget you.
ask me not to miss u.
ask me not to txt u.
ask me not to call u.
ask me to throw u away from my life.
ask me to delete all the memories.
ask me not to care about u.
ask me to so-and-so on..

its hard to forget. its harder to regret. so i tried my best so that kau tak benci aku. i lower my ego. but you. at last, when i know that there is nothing else i can do other than leave, i took a deep breath n walk away from your life. its hard. its hurt. but i keep it to myself.

sometimes all the memories filled up my head n make me unable to sleep at night.
sometimes its hurt my heart until i cry in the middle of night.
sometimes it make me laugh in the middle of the class.
sometimes i wake up in the morning n ask, why there is no message from u, then i realize. its already end.

i was like that for a long time. enough to make people around me look at me weirdly. one day, i accidentally meet u. you look fine. just fine. without any sadness fill your day. and im still dying to know either you feel what i feel. from that day, i push myself harder n harder to forget you. aku paksa diri aku lupekan kau. i've begin a new life. life without you. its not a success but at least i can turn away my head when i meet you instead of look at you until you disappear from my sight. at least i just frowning when thinking about you instead of crying. im kind of happy with my new life.

but suddenly you text me. you called me. all those thing yang kau tak bg aku buat dh. kenapa kau datang balik mase aku dh bersedia nak lupekan kau. why?why?

you were saying that you feel guilty.
you were saying that kau nyesal sebab buat aku mcm tuh dulu.
you were saying that im your best friend.
you were saying that because of me u can study well.

actually, what do you want from me? i took all my energy, time just to fulfill your 'last' wish. but then, you are the one who find me. i feel kind of happy, but that doesn't mean i can let u get closer to me as usual. i feel weird because all the memories filled up my head n i smile to the heart extent. but suddenly, im frowning because u might leave me again. its hard to know what will happen after this. it might getting a lot better than before, or u might leave me again n it hurt more than before.

i wish our story is a never ending story because happiness doesn't have its end.

persahabatan ibarat 1 janji..
yang dibuat dalam hati..
tak dapat ditulis
tak dapat dibaca
namun
takkan terpisah dek jarak
takkan berudah dek masa
sekali kita berkawan,selamanya tetap dihati. =)

rayer!!!

assalamualaikum...

alamak,lambat sangat nieh aku update pasal rayer. ketinggalan pulak aih. kat umah tak online isnce first rayer. busy gamok nyer dengan e\rayer segaler bagai tuh (ekceli internet rosak) haha~

tak kesah la,janji aku update gak kan. banyak benda nak cerita, tp semua tak nak keluar dr kepala otak aku lagi nie. semua nyer mcm samar samar dah. hurm~~ just nak ucap selamat hari rayer kat semua lar. selamat hari merdeka jugak eak. be happy always =)

"be kind to everyone because deep inside everyone is figting their biggest battle"

sayonara..............wassalam...